MS

You heard it months ago: Microsoft plans to open retail stores. Why? Because Apple has stores. But Microsoft surely has selling stuff and other business-y goals in mind too.

Well, you won't need to wait the few weeks (?) remaining before launch to get a peek inside the MS retail experience. This site has acquired a leaked concept sketch, believed to represent one possible configuration (if not necessarily the one shoppers will see). Take a look!

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Mmm, mall-licious!

Okay, so they've got the desire, they've got the money, and now we know they've got the plans on paper. But retail's not easy, even if those fruit guys make it look so. The question we're all asking: Does Microsoft have the competence to pull this off?

Never fear! Remember, these are the folks behind Windows Vista, the Zune, and the many recent high-profile Windows ad campaigns. Living proof that if there's one thing these people abound in, it's in competence. 

All ready for your Windows 7 Launch Party? MS is running a campaign to move the "launch party" concept from the streets and stores (where the wistful sound of chirping crickets provided an awkward backdrop to Vista birthday bashes) and into your living room. You'll invite your friends (whom we hope will have the tact to leave their MacBooks at home), and you'll show off Windows 7 features under your choice of festive themes: PhotoPalooza, Media Mania, Setting Up With Ease, or Family Friendly Fun. (Interestingly, Launch House Party planning is handled by Houseparty.com, not MS; the latter seems to mention the parties only on internal forum pages like this one.)

Could be fun, given the right people. Not people like the ones in the send-up video below! It's a great spoof. Check out the painfully stilted dialogue, the scripted jokes, the cheesy mock-reality shaky camera. You gotta love the sarcastic twisting of marketing copy into "natural" conversational banter: "When everyone was settled, I led an overview of my favorite Windows 7 features!" "I showed the guests Windows-dot-com-slash-help, and it's a great site for people to get more information!" "Windows 7 is all about the computer user!"  All hammily acted by a carefully selected, ad agency-approved lineup of gender-, ethnically-, and age-diverse "friends" who are thrilled by Win...

Huh? You say I was misunderstanding this video all along? It's not a spoof, it's the real Windows 7 Launch Party promo for prepping party hosts? Oh my. I can just imagine what Internet wags would do to a helpless piece of meat like this. Which would explain why MS and/or Houseparty.com have wisely disabled commenting on YouTube...

Oh well, in terms of professionalism it fits right in with all recent MS ad campaigns. Enjoy!

From MSN Search to Windows Live Search to Live Search to Ms Dewey to Live Search Club to (maybe) Kumo... The only thing consistent has been the steady record of fail in a strategy that was "stupid as hell", by Bill Gates' own refreshingly frank opinion.

For some minor yuks, read The Top 10 Greatest Moments in Microsoft Internet Search History at TechFlash.