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Microsoft's Steve Ballmer on Samsung

Microsoft's Steve Ballmer on Samsung

For your amusement. Click to embiggen.

Apple was not at CES 2012. Nope. Not there.

Apple not at CES 2012

One of the more interesting stories out of the huge electronics love-in that was CES 2012 was the massive, overwhelming presence of the company that didn't exhibit. More than any other company that wasn't there, Apple was there. Big time.

A crude picture sums it up. Click to embiggen.

FOUND: Steve Jobs's next liver

Wanted: Liver

Surely you've followed the story of the next-generation Apple iPhone left behind in a bar by one of the company's employees. The disguised device was taken home by another bar patron who sought to find the owner of what seemed a normal iPhone – but which, upon closer examination, proved to be a prototype model with higher-res screen, front-facing camera, and other new features.

The phone holder sold it to gadget blog Gizmodo, which in turn contacted the hapless engineer who lost the device; as of this writing, it appears the phone will make its way back to Cupertino. So that's good for Apple – except that the whole world is watching the drama play out, and we all know that Apple does not like its cats debagged.

According to Gizmodo's tale, the phone-dropping employee is still at Apple, much to the surprise of the gawking crowds. Whew! That's like hearing the welcome news that the victim of a seemingly-fatal car crash is still on life support. I guess even the famously vindictive Steve Jobs can forgive and forget an honest slip-up, right? Sure; he must have found a more mellow and generous spot in his heart after all those health scares in recent years.

But then again... A couple more details about the engineer caught my interest. Reports say he's 27. So he's young. And, given a Facebook comment the guy made expressing surprise at the delights of German beer, I'll surmise that – the role of a bar in the story notwithstanding – he's not an experienced drinker. I'll go so far as to guess that he's healthy.

So. He's young, he's healthy, and he left Apple's Next Big Secret in a bar for all the world to see. I think the reason the poor fellow's not six feet under in the Lisa landfill is this:

Steve's just found his next organ donor. 

(Gizmodo describes the engineer as "an Apple fan who always wanted to meet Steve Jobs". Well! He's going to find himself downright close to Steve's heart!)

Ballmer on iPhone

There's no chance that the iPhone is going to get any significant market share. No chance... I'd prefer to have our software in 60 percent or 70 percent or 80 percent of them, than I would to have 2 percent or 3 percent, which is what Apple might get.

— Steve Ballmer of Microsoft

Should Steve Jobs be running your stock portfolio?

Stevus iChrist

No, not if Apple's battered stock price is any indication. No one can help your stock portfolio right now.

That aside, are we going too far with the "Steve Saves" meme? Take a look at these recent stories:

What next? "Should Obama Outsource Hope and Change to Steve Jobs?"

Wacky stuff. Though I would like to see an iChevy. And it is interesting to note that no one's calling for a Ballmer to lead troubled companies. Not until some industry is deemed woefully in need of more airborne chairs. And sweat. 

Incidentally, I was set to create some lame "Steve + Jesus" (Stevus?) graphic to go with this post, when a search found a very nice one over at iPhone Savior. I borrow here with humble appreciation and link. Go forth and visit

 

Apple responds to "I'm a PC"

This is old news already, but it's a follow-up to an earlier post, How not to spend $300 million. That overview of Microsoft's $300 million "marketing rehab" noted the company's "I'm a PC" campaign, which challenges Apple's "I'm a Mac/I'm a PC" ads. While "I'm a PC" doesn't seem an overtly bad marketing idea, observers have questioned the wisdom of playing follower to a competitor's lead – and wags laughed to discover that the "I'm a PC" ads were made with Macs

MS could probably live with those complaints. But Apple itself saw "I'm a PC" – and the rest of the "rehab" – as a big, fat softball aching to be smacked out of the park. Without directly pointing to the "I'm a PC" campaign itself, it released new ads that swung for the fences. Here they are, with a little commentary in case you need to explain the ads to Grandma:
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