Glass half full?

You know the old "glass half full or half empty?" saw:

• Optimist: The glass is half full
• Pessimist: The glass is half empty

And you know some of the joking additions, like this:

• Engineer: The glass is twice the size it needs to be

Well, let's add to that list, with a tech bias:

• Microsoft: The glass is as full as we say it is. You'll drink it whether you like it or not.
• Apple: The sleek new iGlass is as full as we say it is. You'll drink it and you'll love it.
• Linux: Fill the glass with all the water you want. Oh, first make the glass.
• AOL: Forget that mean old glass. Here's a nice sippy cup.
• Google: 18,700,000 results for glass half full, 1,530,000 results for glass half empty.
• Amazon: Glass-half-full buyers also looked at Glass-half-empty. You may qualify for free shipping!
• Wikipedia: This is a common expression, used rhetorically to indicate that [edit] SCOTT DICKERSON's GAY LOL
• Any Internet forum: teh glass suck's so does it's water lol your pwned!

But you, dear reader, could do much better. Whatcha got that's funny?