CES 2012: Dell Entering Tablet Business Later This Year at WebProNews suggests that Dell is wisely biding its time before dipping a first toe in that crazy tablet market that's been so wildly unsuccessful for any company whose name can't be found within "Snapple". Or in the quoted words of Dell CCO Steve Felice,

So we are not really deemphasizing it, we are really being very careful how we enter it.

Right. Because Dell wouldn't want to end up like the guys who rushed in and failed with DOA loser products. Like that Streak thing, which figuratively blew itself into gibs before anyone even knew it had even spawned onto the board. Who made that thing, anyway?

Oh. It was Dell. Oddly, the Dell CCO seems reluctant to mention the Streak, instead talking up future products with "We have been taking our time." (Time to recover from the Streak, you mean.) Sadly, WebProNews doesn't catch the omission either, and dully remarks that it's "surprising that Dell has not entered into the tablet business". (Entered it without crashing and burning, you mean.)

WebProNews gives its source as Reuters, whose article does mention the Streak – though so quickly you'll miss it if you pause to spoon more corn flakes. After that gloss, Reuters simply goes along with the ruse that the Streak never happened. "Dell Inc intends to launch its first consumer tablet computer in late 2012", proclaims the article. First?

Maybe "consumer" is the key word; if Dell claims that the Streak was an enterprise product, then it can shout "Here's our first consumer tablet, a field in which we've bided our time like genius masterminds, and have yet to fail in at all, honestly!" And then hope that nobody pays much attention. But that's where things get confusing. Dell's still-online Streak 5 Android Tablet page enthuses over the Facebook, Twitter, photo sharing, and movies that the "entertainment, social connection and navigation device" puts in your pocket, with nary a word about VNCs and Ciscos and other businessy things. And what's more, its new "consumer" product will get all up in the enterprizez, says Dell's Felice:

When we introduce the products, they will be consumer products, but we are going to make sure that they are very compatible with the business marketplace, which we don't think Apple has addressed.

At which point Reuters could have asked, "Oh, so it's an enterprise thing, too. And how did your actual first 'enterprise tablet' work out for you?" But they didn't. (Which isn't terribly surprising in an age when the New York Times – no joke – runs a piece asking, "Hey readers, here's a wacky idea: do you think journalists should look into factual claims?")

So, what's the story? The Dell Streak flopped, and Dell plans to take another shot with a new product. No surprise, and no big deal. But while I can understand Dell wanting to pretend that the Streak never existed and that the new product will be its very first tablet, why does the press so readily play along with the charade? That's what's curious.

Oh well. I suppose it's inevitable that no questions get asked about a product that almost no one noticed in the first place. (I feel sorry for the Streak, treated by all like some invisible ghost of an hunchbacked redheaded bastard son. If it's any consolation, Streak, it could be worse: you could be an 'iPod-killer' music player no one ever heard of.)

As Dell prepares to roll out its "first" tablets, the company's actually rather lucky that no one noticed or remembers the Streak. Dell, here's hoping your new product gets that same "lucky" reception!

This has nothing to do with anything. I just like collecting weirdness, so here's a choice tidbit.

On an innocuous Slashdot post about a school changing its computer science curriculum, among the expected comments ("Teach assembler!" "Nos, teach machine code!"), suddenly there was this warning (?) about freemason kids traumatized by native teachings: 

we're not the only (chosen) ones? the natives must have made some mathematical errors? let's see, wasn't that problem taken care of before? & before that. let's check the georgia stone, all the answers are there? not to fret then, the #s never lie?

the GSM get their tiny (ie; selfish, stingy, eugenatic, fake math) .5 billion remaining population, & the money/weapons/vaccine/deception/fake 'weather' alchemist/genetically altered nazi mutant goon exchangers, get us? yikes

the 'fog' is lifting? more chariots will be needed?

with real math, even being remotely involved in lifetaking (paying for, supplying endless ordinance) is also a crime against ALL of the world.

ALL (uninfactdead) MOMMYS......

the georgia stone remains uneditable? gad zooks. are there no chisels?

previous math discardead; 1+1 extrapolated (Score:mynutswon; no such thing as one too many here)

deepends on how you interpret it. georgia stone freemason 'math'; the variables & totals are objective oriented; oranges: 1+1= not enough, somebody's gotta die. people; 1+1=2, until you get to .5 billion, then 1+1=2 too many, or, unless, & this is what always happens, they breed uncontrolled, naturally (like monkeys), then, 1+1=could easily result in millions of non-approved, hoardsplitting spawn. see the dilemma? can 'math', or man'kind' stand even one more League of Smelly Infants being born?

there are alternative equations being proffered. the deities (god, allah, yahweh, buddha, & all their supporting castes) state in their manuals that we needn't trouble ourselves with thinning the population, or being so afraid as to need to hoard stuff/steal everything. chosen people? chosen for what? to live instead of us? in the case of life, more is always better. unassailable perfect math. see you at the play-dates, georgia stone editing(s) etc... babys rule.

exploding babys; corepirate nazis to be caged (Score:mynutswon; hanging is too good for them?)

there are plans to put them, (the genetically, surgically & chemically altered coreprate nazi mutant fear/death mongerers (aka47; eugenatics, weapons peddlers, kings/minions, adrians, freemasons etc...)) on display in glass cages, around the world, so that we can remember not to forget... again, what can happen, based on greed/fear/ego stoking deception.

viewing/feeding will be rationed based on how many more of the creators' innocents are damaged, or have to be brought home (& they DO have another one) prematurely.

Well put. I doubt you enjoyed that as much as I did... but if, by chance, you did, please seek professional help quickly. (See you there!)

Surely you've followed the story of the next-generation Apple iPhone left behind in a bar by one of the company's employees. The disguised device was taken home by another bar patron who sought to find the owner of what seemed a normal iPhone – but which, upon closer examination, proved to be a prototype model with higher-res screen, front-facing camera, and other new features.

The phone holder sold it to gadget blog Gizmodo, which in turn contacted the hapless engineer who lost the device; as of this writing, it appears the phone will make its way back to Cupertino. So that's good for Apple – except that the whole world is watching the drama play out, and we all know that Apple does not like its cats debagged.

According to Gizmodo's tale, the phone-dropping employee is still at Apple, much to the surprise of the gawking crowds. Whew! That's like hearing the welcome news that the victim of a seemingly-fatal car crash is still on life support. I guess even the famously vindictive Steve Jobs can forgive and forget an honest slip-up, right? Sure; he must have found a more mellow and generous spot in his heart after all those health scares in recent years.

But then again... A couple more details about the engineer caught my interest. Reports say he's 27. So he's young. And, given a Facebook comment the guy made expressing surprise at the delights of German beer, I'll surmise that – the role of a bar in the story notwithstanding – he's not an experienced drinker. I'll go so far as to guess that he's healthy.

So. He's young, he's healthy, and he left Apple's Next Big Secret in a bar for all the world to see. I think the reason the poor fellow's not six feet under in the Lisa landfill is this:

Steve's just found his next organ donor. 

(Gizmodo describes the engineer as "an Apple fan who always wanted to meet Steve Jobs". Well! He's going to find himself downright close to Steve's heart!)