You know the old "glass half full or half empty?" saw:

• Optimist: The glass is half full
• Pessimist: The glass is half empty

And you know some of the joking additions, like this:

• Engineer: The glass is twice the size it needs to be

Well, let's add to that list, with a tech bias:
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This is a couple months old already, but if you haven't seen it: 

CRACKED offers reader-made illustrations of the world if everything was made by Microsoft. 

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No real reason. Just messing with one of those Obama poster generators. 

(Though I'd be mighty surprised if someone hasn't already used this goofy idea.)  

You can't laugh at technology without laughing at companies, and you can't laugh at companies without laughing at – and often because of – corpspeak. We all run into those polished gems of meaning-free blandishments with every synergy-mobilizing press release, every paradigm-transforming media quote. I was reminded to start clipping these after some recent howlers from Microsoft, a company whose reps have no idea how to speak like humans. But neither they nor the tech sector are alone in that.

Here's a small start. Set phasers to empower!

"Based on the feedback we've received from partners and customers asking us to enable a richer small notebook PC experience with Windows 7 Starter..."
Microsoft on removing some pointless limitations from Windows 7 Starter. [Well, the announcement itself is welcome, but how about leaving the marketing meetings once in a while to re-discover English?]
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Well, this is hardly a surprise: While I've been keeping a list of some of the wackier spam titles and content that come my way, it turns out that others have been doing so for a much longer time. Maybe spam collecting is even a popular hobby out there. I mean, it's not like we can collect stamps any more ("Daddy, what's a 'letter'?")

I happily point spam fans to 100 Unintentionally Hilarious Spam Subject Lines on CRACKED.com. And if you want more, here's my own growing list of wacky spam.

Hey, tech heads! If you're having trouble keeping up with the expanding choice in browsers, LifeHacker has a nice review at Five Best Web Browsers.

Or to save you even that much time, here's my super-succinct summary of their review:

Chrome: Robust!
Opera: Unique!
Firefox: Extensible!
Safari: Fast!
Internet Explorer: Uh... Lots of people use it.

Choose and be happy!